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Self-Love Journal 5/22/16
I really do love my life, and I am so grateful for Gary. He is so perfect for me, and he takes such good care of me. We have had such a wonderful getaway weekend exploring a city we have never been to before. Last night was lots of fun seeing a live show at the Grand Ole Opry.
Today we are headed to the Johnny Cash Museum and lunch on the river before we head back to Jacksonville.
We have taken lots of pictures, and I admit that posting some of them are going to be difficult. I still have a lot of work around being comfortable with pictures of me. But at least it is a start with taking more pictures to begin with.
Self-Love Journal 5/23/16
It is early, and I am lying in bed listening to Gary sleep for a few more minutes. Today it is back to work for us. We both have busy days, and I also get to pick up my new glasses.
I will also finish the 30th day of my Ab Challenge. I am so thankful because it has been wicked and my stomach muscles have been so sore.
Self-Love Journal 5/25/16
I love the I Can Do It calendar’s quotes. They often provide poignant moments of reflection. Today’s is, “I am teachable. Life is an education, and I am a student. I am doing the best I can, and every day it gets easier.”
This goes with what I am trying to discover for myself the last few weeks. Another way of saying it is a quote from Erin Strutland that is something like “I always do my best, and my best is good enough!”
Self-Love Journal 5/26/16
I had a great day today. I moved to the next step on three large accounts, and I got to see Jen for an hour. It was not long enough to catch up, but I am thrilled that we were able to spend time together. She took a picture of us for red nose day. It is hard not to fill silly when you have a red clown’s nose on your face.
I am still having difficulties liking my pictures but I have taken a lot of them this week. Maybe after a certain quantity, I will feel better about them?
I am still continuing a version of my challenges. Alternating arms and legs every other day and doing abs every day. I haven’t decided if I am going to take every 4th day or every 5th day as a rest day.
I know that I need to add some more cardio. Since my calves have been bothering me, I have not been doing my speed walking or running. I am going to start taking some magnesium and see if it helps. I am hoping that next week I will be able to start something for cardio.
Self-Love Journal 5/27/16
I am done with today’s workout of abs and arms. I have texted Jen and she texted back that she is done with her workout also. Having an accountability buddy is so important for me. It helps me stay true to myself, and I am very thankful for Jen.
Today I will spend the day on the phones trying to dial for dollars but tonight I get to hang out with Heather and MJ. They are coming over for dinner and going to stay the night. Tomorrow Heather works a double and MJ, and I are going to the beach while Gary also works, and Brooke goes to a graduation party
I am still frustrated that I have gained more weight. I am not at my heaviest, but I am way too close for comfort. I am so very thankful that I don’t step on the scale daily.
I had a realization this week that I probably am not losing weight because deep down I don’t believe that I can. My core belief is that no matter what I try I just gain weight. And guess what is happening I am just gaining weight. I am not sure how to get beyond this, but I think I am going to have to start tapping on it and see what can happen. After six months of this journal, it seems like I have gone full circle and that I am starting all over again.
Self-Love Journal 5/28/16
Well, I am sitting here relaxing for a few minutes while the baby sleeps. Today’s beach trip was fun but not nearly as peaceful as it usually is when Gary and I go. It was exhausting, and it took nearly all day for just a little over an hour on the beach.
MJ had a great time, and I enjoyed watching him. He loved the water and would do a little bit wiggle and giggle when the tide would come in over our legs as we sat and played in the sand. He also loved the way the sand felt in in his hands and did a good job covering us both with it.
I now have such a huge appreciation for single parents with multiple kids on the beach. It might have been harder because he is not walking yet but that might have made things easier as well. I had sand everywhere on my body, and we brought a ton of it home with us.
I finally got MJ and I cleaned up and put him down for a nap while I cleaned up the car and the trail of sand we brought into the house.
Then I did my workout, and now I wish I could take a nap myself. But as I write this I hear him waking up, maybe he will cuddle with me, and we can read stories.
Ok dogs are walked, and MJ is dressed and playing with them.
One last thing that I wanted to write is that I am very grateful for Gary. It seems that I write this a lot, but it is something that I often have a reason for. This morning as I am putting on my bathing suit I told him that I felt it was time for me to buy a one piece. I am getting too old and too big for a two piece. I didn’t say this, but he gave me a look that told me that he didn’t like my reference to putting me down, and then he said some very nice things. I won’t go into detail, but he made me feel so good about myself. I might not be completely sold that I don’t need another suit, but he sure made me feel better.
