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Self-Love Journal 8/14/16
I love the date 8/14. I was born at 8:14 am, and I often find myself looking at the clock when it is 8:14. I have a lot to get done today, but I wanted to do a few minutes of writing before I start and when I looked at the clock I saw my numbers.
The Walk 4 Wellness soft launch was supposed to begin yesterday, and I think we had a glitch in things. I need to look into it and fix that. I also need to get to work on my team and also the next steps in this project.
I would also like to get several weeks of journals off to Laura so that she can help me edit them. It won’t do me any good to have someone volunteer to help me and then not provide them what they need to do so.
Then I get to do some housework, and I really should look at our bills. And finally, I get to take Brooke to get our toes done and finish her school shopping.
It should be a full day.
As I move forward throughout the day, I will be looking for God’s Winks in my life. Knowing that everything is as it should be and that I am moving forward toward my goals.
I weighed myself today, and I find myself 1 pound heavier than a month ago. It is hard to believe that a month has gone by since I turned 47. I am not upset with this – the age or the weight. I know that I have not been as consistent with my wellness routines for myself. In fact, only being 1 pound up means that I have found a plateau. This also doesn’t surprise me since this is a weight that I was at for almost a year before I gained that last 10 pounds.
I feel like I am ready to begin that next stage though and find what will work for me for workouts and food plans over the next month. I would like to release all of the weight I have gained since meeting Gary plus just a few more. I am blessed that he doesn’t care and that he loves me for me and not for a number on the scale.
However, I am doing this for me. I felt excellent at that weight. I just was a fool who didn’t realize it at the time. I had been so conditioned that I could only be loved at a lesser weight that I was always struggling to reach it. I guess not a lot has changed as I still am struggling to reach that number on the scale. I don’t know…I suppose I still have some work to do on that.
I have come a long way, though. I can now look in the mirror and say that I love myself. I can even look at myself naked and not pick apart every aspect of my body. I feel happier with the way I look. I may no longer be young, but I feel that I am aging beautifully, just like my Mom.
I begin working with Vickie on Tuesday. I look forward to getting her input and seeing what I will learn about myself next.
This was on my calendar this morning. It is a good reminder to continue my journey and continue learning new ways to treat myself better.
Self-Love Journal 8/15/16
Today’s calendar saying is
I do feel that as I enter my mid-40s, I am becoming all that I am destined to be. I feel that I am finally ready to fly and be me without a lot of baggage. That I can be who I want to be as a woman, a friend, mom, a grandma, a girlfriend, a business woman.
I know that I am willing to release all of the feelings of unworthiness that I have and to move forward without guilt.
Self-Love Journal 8/16/16
WOW! I have to say I am super impressed. I worked with Vickie, http://www.break-through.org/, today one on one for the first time and I can tell that this is exactly what I have needed for the next step of this journey.
We did several rounds of tapping this morning followed by self-hypnosis, and I can already feel a shift happening for me.
For instance, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind this morning as I didn’t sleep well at all. Typically this would make me feel lethargic and in a funk all day. However, instead it is lunch time, and I have got a ton accomplished and it was hard for me to break away from work because I feel so motivated.
Working with Vickie, I realized that my relationship with my ex-husband may still be playing more of a role in my weight, exercise and success than I had previously considered.
I worked out consistently, had no real problems with my weight and was very successful in everything I did up until my 30s. Then things shifted and the pressure of maintaining all of this stuff while becoming a mom to an eight-year-old became huge. Plus the pressure from the ex just topped it all off. He was always telling me he’d divorce me if I weighed too much, wasn’t successful enough, etc. Every problem we had was my fault as his life was perfect before he met me. In working with Vickie today, I realized that I rebelled against all of these pressures to make him do what he said and divorce me. I would never have considered this at the time but knowing this is a huge relief, and it is probably a very correct assumption.
I have a feeling I even gained this weight to see if Gary loves me for who I am. It makes me feel happy and safe that he was honest when he told me that I am not a number on a scale.
It has taken me a long time to believe this for myself, but I think that I am getting there. Maybe it is finally safe for me to release this extra weight.
I am also so relieved that I can let go of the heavy pressure I have felt and that things do not have to be so hard. I can be successful, fit, strong and at a healthy weight now for ME! Not for anyone else. I am the only one that matters when it comes to these things, and it is time I acknowledge, accept and live these truths.
This was my calendar quote today when I went into the office. I am happy to say that today I can look in the mirror and begin to love who I am as I am and know that I am doing my best. 
It is funny that a little later I see this post on Facebook that I shared several years ago. Life does come full circle so many times. We always get another chance for growth and to learn to treat ourselves and others better.
Hopefully, with playing Vickie’s hypnosis. Mp3 nightly and tapping daily this will all become a part of my core being, and I won’t have to repeat this lesson a year or several years from now.
Self-Love Journal 8/17/16
What about Magic? I thought of this question today? What if my life was magical? What would it look like?
If my life were magical, it would be easy breezy. No, seriously or as serious as I can be about thinking about a magical life. This is what it would look like.
I fulfill my souls-purpose and live my life’s mission. Life is simple and easy to me. I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now. All of my upper limits are dissolved and I operate fully in my genius zone.
Life loves me, and I love me for who I am, who I have been and who I am becoming. I am supported by the Universe, God, and my angels. I give my best, and I know that my best is good enough.
I am taken care of at all times. It is my God given right to have unlimited success, unlimited love, unlimited wealth and unlimited vibrant health. All areas of my life are abundant and fulfilling.
I work productively and smart. I easily accomplish and achieve all of my intentions. I have a golden touch. People want to help me, and they feel confident and trust me always to offer my best. I quickly crush all of my goals, exceeding all expectations and I have no barriers or limits to my success. I have fun and lots of joy in my daily activities.
I work out regularly because I love it. I thrive on working out at all times of the day in all types of weather. I feel a rush afterward that cannot be replicated and I love the way my body feels and looks strong. I crave foods that nourish me and only eat when I am hungry for food, not some other need or emotion.
I take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually. I use the tools that I have picked up over the years for the betterment of myself and others.
My relationships are caring and loving. They are open and honest, and I bring out the best in those close to me, and they bring out the best in me.
Self-Love Journal 8/18/16
It is hard to believe this month is nearly over. I am up early for the second day in a row. Waking back up around 6:30 in the morning is a shift that I am seeing since working with Vickie. I hadn’t really realized how it was getting more and more difficult to get out of bed each morning. It still isn’t the jump out of bed happy stuff, but it is easier than it was.
I’m going to enjoy this second cup of coffee outside and then I am going to go in and do some yoga or pilates before I get started with my day.
I feel freer than I have in a long time. Like the pressure is off of me. I know longer have anything to prove to anyone, and I can just be myself. I know that everything is working the way it should be, and it is so nice to be able to quickly accomplish the things I set out for the day. This is a new chapter for me, maybe even the beginning of a new book in the story series of my life.
It is nice to not have that huge cloud of pressure around me and to realize that I am the one who put it there, why I did it and that it is safe to let it go is a huge breakthrough for me.
Life is good. Life loves me.
Self-Love Journal 8/19/16
Tonight is date night, woohoo. And the best part is that we are going to the beach as well. I am so excited. 2 of my favorite things – Gary and the beach. 🙂
It will be hard to work, but I will muster through it with thoughts of the beautiful evening ahead of me.
Abraham’s quote yesterday was talking about finding Joy in the journey and not waiting until you have achieved the end result. I agree with that, and I am happy to say that the journey is a lot of fun.
Self-Love Journal 8/20/16
Well, yesterday didn’t go as planned. The sky decided to break loose before we left the house. The good thing is that we had time to change our plans, and we went and saw Ben Herr at our new theater and had sushi afterward. I love our new theaters, but boy is it expensive. They charge you $4 more per ticket for the extra-large theaters, and the movies we always pick are always in those theaters. Go figure. The seats are super comfortable, though, they are leather and recline. And the theater is nice and clean. Not sure I still like paying $30 for 2 tickets but I guess it is all about the experience.
Today I am going to vegetate for a few hours before I get to go get my hair done and do some shopping. Then I will come home and get some work done. Tomorrow I have little man, and I am excited to get to spend some time with him. 🙂
Self-Love Takeaways
- I need to be willing to release all my feelings of unworthiness before I can become the person I am destined to be.
- I can be successful, fit, strong and at a healthy weight now for ME! Not for anyone else. I am the only one that matters when it comes to these things, and it is time I acknowledge, accept and live these truths.
