Self-Love Journal Week 42

CLICK HERE to see previous journal entries

**************************************************

 

Self-Love Journal 9/11/16

In the Big Leap, he says that “When you ‘think’ successful and feel successful you will act accordingly, and therefore find it easy to achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.”

We are then asked to make an acknowledging list of ten to fifteen things that cause us to feel successful. My list is below.

1. Getting up and working out first thing in the morning.
2. Making the phone calls, visits and emails that allow me to touch base with my customers and new leads.
3. Making lots of sales
4. Planning my meals ahead of time
5. Meditating
6. Journaling
7. Consistent follow-up
8. Being there for my family and loved ones

This is hard…I will have to think about this list more. At this point, I can’t even think of 10-15 things.

The next step is to spend 5 minutes every day reading this list and acknowledging myself, feeling successful. Hmmm…I am not sure that this will be part of my daily routine. I already have so much that I do. However, I have struggled so much with it that maybe I will need to consider it more.

Self-Love Journal 9/12/16

I need to figure out a different route for my runs. My current route is full of cute little kids going to school at about 7:30 each morning. Although they are cute, they are also riding bikes in the middle of the sidewalk, and I fear that I will become a casualty in a bike accident one day.

I have joined Vickie Griffiths 40 day weight release program. I am excited to begin this next Monday. She has shared a few pointers already. I think the biggest one for me is the “releasing of weight” instead of “losing it.” If we lose weight, we have to find it. When we release it, we can let it go. I have heard this before, but for some reason, I wasn’t ready to accept it. I feel willing to acknowledge it now and see if I can make this shift in my mindset.

Today is Monday, and I am excited about the opportunities I get to create today. Time to get going.

It is lunch time, and I am taking a bit of a break. It has been a super productive morning, and I am looking forward to a few minutes downtime.

I am writing again today because I just glanced at my phone at 1:11. I always feel happy and thankful when I see these numbers. I know that in numerology it is considered a good thing when you see these numbers, but I forgot exactly what they meant so in looking it up I find the following.

One of the most powerful numbers in numerology is 111. The number 1 reflects motivation, insight, new beginnings, and inspiration. It is one of the most positive numbers. The number 11 is a number that resonates awakening and enlightenment.

It helps me feel connected with my higher self and understand that I am on target with my soul’s mission and life purpose. When these numbers are combined, and I see 111, I am encouraged to be very aware of my thoughts and ideas, thinking about what I want and rather than what I don’t want.

These positive thoughts are said to manifest during these times much more quickly into reality. Some also say that the number 111 is also a message from our angels or spirit guides. Our thoughts are ready to be materialized, and the energy is perfect for our dreams. For me, I take it to mean that I am on the right track both personally and professionally.

Self-Love Journal 9/13/16

Everything always comes full circle. If we don’t learn from life’s lessons we are destined to repeat them even if this repetition is 50 times in our lives.

I don’t know that this next lesson has turned up that many times but maybe it has, and I just was not paying attention. Mindfulness eating needs to be part of my plan for a healthier me.

First of all, I have put back on the 5 pounds I lost since I stopped tracking my food and. If I had continued the activities I had been doing, I would probably be close to my goal now. It looks like this is just another reason for me to change my mindset to releasing the weight instead of losing it. I don’t want to find it again.

Can we say self-sabotage? How about no control? I need to track my food, but maybe I also need to track my moods.

I have looked for an app that will allow me to do both, but I haven’t found one. I like my fitness pal for food tracking because it tracks relevant nutrition information and helps me keep balanced carb, fat, and protein.

Paying more attention to my moods and how I feel is showing me that I eat a lot more and when I am not hungry when I am not feeling my best. I eat out of depression, frustration, anxiety and rejection.

This is an area of my being that I need to change if I am going to make lasting changes in my life and it is an area that I discussed at the beginning of this journey. Maybe it will become more a part of my every day being this time.

So I am checking out the Samsung Health app to enter my workouts, food and stress levels. I am going to make an effort to record my stress and feelings when I eat. Especially when I eat snacks since this is probably where I get out of control.

I have been trying to run a lot more lately as this is the workout that has been easiest for me to do consistently. My workouts are always sporadic and anything but routine. I have learned just to go with it and that it is more important to do something than to have a regimen that I must do. With that said though I think that it is time to train for a 5k. It has been years since I have felt like running and I haven’t completed a 5k since before moving to Jax. It looks like Samsung Health has an app called Baby steps to 5k so I think I will give it a try beginning tomorrow. It looks achievable. 10 weeks to a 49 min 5k. I should be able to walk that worst case scenario…lol

I just looked for 5ks that I would like to do, and I think it would be fun to run the Festival of Lights in San Marco on December 10th. We will see if I am still interested in running in 3 months. Ha-ha

Later…

Through reading the Big Leap and realizing the significant part, my feelings play in what, and when I eat, I realize how little attention I pay to how and what I am feeling.

For instance what I feel before I eat, while eating, and after are key indicators of the types of food choices and the amount I will snack on. Also when I don’t plan for a meal my mood plays a huge role in what I will eat. If I am not tracking my food, my mood also plays a role in me choosing larger portion sizes.

I noticed today that I was thirsty and bored when I decided to have an afternoon snack of peaches and Greek yogurt. While eating, I was happy and content. After eating, I was still thirsty and bored, so I wanted another snack to bring me back to the feelings of happiness and contentment.

I wonder what would have happened if I had meditated for a while before I ate. Or even if I had tapped on these feelings.

By reading the Big Leap, I have been reminded how large a role our emotions play in the law of attraction. Our feelings are even the key to having enough time to do what we want or never having enough time for anything.

I also realize how very little attention I pay to how I feel. My feelings are more important to my success, abundance, love, and health than my thoughts are. Thoughts have energy of course, but feelings have significantly more energy.

I have spent a lot of this week trying to live in the Zone of Genius. What I have learned is that I am unable to think my way into this zone. Instead, I have to feel my way in.  For me, the Zone of Genius feels like that moment when you realize you have just fallen in love. You feel giddy with excitement and wonder. You feel like you are on top of the world, and it doesn’t matter what happens. Nothing can ruin your mood or how incredible you feel. You are passionate and excited. You are super happy. I have been able to get to this zone several times this week, and it has been amazing each time I obtain it. The key is to figure out how to remain in this zone for longer periods of time and to be able to get there quickly.

I feel like I am on the verge of a Big Leap. I feel like I almost understand the answers I have been looking for.  I am learning to understand them deep with my feeling being for the first time in my life – instead of just intellectually. I realize that this is probably the ingredient I have been missing all along.

For instance, I know that I am an emotional eater. I bet when I go back to the beginning of this journaling I will see that I mention this. This is not a new concept to me. However, I don’t ever recall paying attention to what I felt before and after a meal. I have tried to pay attention to how I feel while eating. But I think how I feel before and after are just as important for me. And I am not talking about feeling full or hungry. I am talking about feeling bored, angry, stressed, anxious, happy, sad, excited, etc.

Pondering the meaning of this journal tonight I feel like I am at one of those turning points in my life and that with these understandings my life will never be the same.

I look forward to this next chapter and learning to be in my Zone of Genius consistently and at will.

By the way, I saw the clock again today at 11:11. If three ones were magical, I can only imagine what four 1111s are. And then I have also looked at the clock at 8:14 and I am in fact writing this paragraph at that time. This was the time I was born and is said to be a sign that I am in alignment with the universe and that my angels are helping me. I am paraphrasing what I remember learning about this.

I just meditated with Vickie’s self-hypnosis she created for me and I feel this will also help me get in the zone of Genius when I want. I am going to search for another meditation for this as well.

Another thing I would like to remember is that I can jump into the Zone of Genius through breath as well. I learned a breathing technique years ago that I think would work. I will try this tomorrow. I don’t want to wake up tonight too energized because of it. I have even written several articles and did a wellness tip on TV with this technique. I am sure this will work. I just had no clue how valuable this tool was until now. I feel like a light bulb is going off above my head saying  ah ha.

The synchronicities and God Winks keep happening. I have loved John Assaraf’s teaching over the years and believe that he is onto something with his neural reprogramming. I have used several of his programs but have not had a feeling that I needed to re-engage with his teachings until today. Today I didn’t just automatically delete his promotion that I saw in my email. Instead, I left it, and when I saw it tonight, I clicked on it. John is big on videos and talking about emotions and feelings. He is having a webinar in a few days on his new program to teach how to transcend limiting emotions. Guess this is a here’s my sign moment. Lol.

Yes, I did sign up for it. I am not taking for granted the tools I am finding along my path. By the way, did I mention that he has some of the best meditations I have ever done? I can’t wait to see what this opportunity brings. 🙂

Self-Love Journal 9/14/16

I am ready for my run. I just want to wait for it to get a few minutes lighter. I have run in the dark often, but for some reason this week I haven’t felt comfortable. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t run in this neighborhood in the dark, or maybe I’m just getting older…ha-ha

I thought I was going to write, but I think instead I’m going to try that breathing technique.

After…it works oh my. Within 90 seconds and I have breathed my way into my genius zone. This is so amazing.  I can’t wait to share it, but for right now I’m going to run.

I will include the article on this breath work shortly. In the meantime, I just want to say that I am so happy I feel like spontaneously dancing. I love life and life loves me.

In looking back, I found the article that I wrote in 2012. I didn’t title it Zone of Genius at the time, and although I knew it had immense power for resetting emotions and increasing energy, I had no clue that it held the key to so much. I am happy that even though I am a slow learner that I do get it eventually. 🙂

Enter Your Zone of Genius in Less than 90 seconds

While you are doing this breathing exercise, focus on your Ultimate Success Mantra.

I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same.

Set 1

1. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 5 seconds, out through the mouth for 5 seconds;
2. Touch the thumb to the middle finger and breathe in through the mouth for 5 seconds, out through the nose for 5 seconds;
3. Touch the thumb to the ring finger and breathe in through the nose for 5 seconds, out through the nose for 5 seconds;
4. Touch the thumb to the little finger and breathe in through the nose for 5 seconds, out through the mouth for 5 seconds;
5. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 5 seconds, out through the mouth for 5 seconds.

Set 2

1. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 3 seconds, out through the mouth for 3 seconds;
2. Touch the thumb to the middle finger and breathe in through the mouth for 3 seconds, out through the nose for 3 seconds;
3. Touch the thumb to the ring finger and breathe in through the nose for 3 seconds, out through the nose for 3 seconds;
4. Touch the thumb to the little finger and breathe in through the nose for 3 seconds, out through the mouth for 3 seconds;
5. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 3 seconds, out through the mouth for 3 seconds.

Set 3

1. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 1 seconds, out through the mouth for 1 seconds;
2. Touch the thumb to the middle finger and breathe in through the mouth for 1 seconds, out through the nose for 1 seconds;
3. Touch the thumb to the ring finger and breathe in through the nose for 1 seconds, out through the nose for 1 seconds;
4. Touch the thumb to the little finger and breathe in through the nose for 1 seconds, out through the mouth for 1 seconds;
5. Touch the thumb to the index finger and breathe in through the mouth for 1 second, out through the mouth for 1 second.

The above technique is easy to remember when you consider that you are moving your thumb down your fingers beginning and ending with your index finger each set. The first set you breathe in and out for 7 seconds, second set 5 seconds, and the third set is 1 second. Your breaths for each set are as follows with MM, MN, NN, NM, and MM.

I am signed up for John Assaraf’s Winning the Inner Game of Fear tomorrow, and I was looking back in my programs and found that I took Winning the Inner Game of Money back in 2010. It really does seem that my life is coming full circle these days. Giving me one more chance to finally learn lessons that I am apparently destined to learn or keep repeating mistakes until I do. I feel different now, though. I feel ready to let go of the past beliefs, sabotages and limitations, and I feel willing to open myself to a world of unlimited potential. Watch out world, here I come.

Later…

So I have had a magnificent day. It’s 7:30 at night and I am sitting outside watching a gorgeous sunset.

I feel like I have stayed in the Genius zone a lot more today. And although I have yet to see it in my sales numbers I know that I will. I have felt differently today than in the past.

My day tried to turn this morning when I began to feel rushed and in a hurry. I then took a few minutes and did the breathing technique above. At another point I started to feel stiff and tired and instead of my usual mustering through it with resentment, I got up and stretched, made some Chai tea and walked to the mailbox (about a block and a half away) to stretch and get some fresh air. I then lay on my office floor and did the breathing technique again before I started work again.

It was a fantastic day. I feel as if I sold ten times my daily quota. Now is where I face the Upper Limit with my inner voice saying but you didn’t. You’re a loser. There is something wrong with you. Others can do it and yet you’re failing again.

Yes, I can be a royal bitch to myself. I am trying to do better and remind myself that it is all a numbers game and I am playing the numbers to win. I know what I am doing and will see rewarding results soon.

I know my faith is being tested because too many times I have given in to that negative part of myself that beats me up day in and day out.

The good thing is that I am changing this now. There are so many things I have accomplished over the years. This is not even that major in comparison. I’ve got this.

Another thing I did today was order two affirmation prints that I created. They say the same thing but have different backgrounds. I am going to put one in my office, and the other one will go in our living room. I am proud of these, and I think I chose affirmations that will serve me and others well for many years into the future.

 

Good things are happening…I feel it. 🙂

Self-Love Journal 9/15/16

I am starting Vickie’s 40 lbs. in 40 days program next week.  My first homework is to set my intentions for this weight release journey.

Vickie makes some good points about the significant difference between intention and goals. How it is more about the journey than it is the final destination.

My intentions are to:

Ultimately release 25 lbs.

My clothes fit comfortably.

I feel fantastic. I feel sexy and healthy.

I express myself by showing the world how happy and blessed I am.

I know now that I can do anything. Everything is possible. I am successful at the intentions I set for myself.

Yesterday I did well by recognizing that I was full at dinner. I probably ate 4 or 5 extra bites, but I didn’t finish the plate like I normally would have.

I’m listening to Vickie’s first mp3, and I realize she said to stop eating when you feel satisfied. Satisfied? What is that? Can I do that? Do I even know what that means?

Self-Love Journal 9/16/16

Well, I think my back and neck only hurt when the chiropractor is out of the office, and I can’t be seen. Lol. On top of that, I missed a stair this morning and went sliding down about 4 of them. Thank goodness it was just sliding and not tumbling. My but will be black and blue and probably also my arm from where it hit the railing.   Guess I will really hurt now.

I had to chuckle to myself though because I know this is all just upper limit stuff. I welcome it because I know that when I get to the other side of it, I will have increased my upper limit threshold because I recognize it for what it is. I will not let this stop me from reaching my dreams.

I’m sitting outside now after a conference call enjoying a few minutes before I have to head up to work. I am out of sorts still and want to make sure that I start my day in the perfect frame of mind to achieve my goals. I tried to listen to John Assaraf’s mp3 earlier but was interrupted several times, so I am going to do it right now and then get to work and make it a great day.

Today I will ask myself better questions. Such as what if I succeed with all of my goals and intentions this month? What would it be like if I could live my entire work day in my genius zone? What if I could live all day feeling success, abundance, and love without the fear of failure?

Better questions that I found myself asking throughout the day were

1. What if I exceeded all of my goals early in the month?
2. What if I didn’t have to worry about meeting goals?
3. What if exceeding my goals was an absolute given every month?
4. What if people were excited to talk to me when I called?
5. What if people positively responded to my suggestions?
6. What if more people returned my phone calls and replied to my emails?
7. What if my customers sell their product quicker than ever before and have to order larger quantities, more frequently?

It is midafternoon, and I have been working hard all day. The great news is my energy has been consistent, and I feel really good. I just felt the need to spend a few minutes outside so I decided to come out for a few moments. I think I will read some of my book on the Paradox of Calcium and K2 and that way I’m working while I am enjoying a break. 🙂

Self-Love Journal 9/17/16

I’m sitting here cuddling with little man. Well actually he’s knocked out, and I’m rocking him while I write in my journal. He is running a fever, and we are trying to break it with lavender and peppermint essential oils plus a little rest. This boy seems to be always under the weather. I think he’s just teething, but I can’t wait for him to come over one day perfectly healthy.

I was going to take him to the beach today, but we would need to go this morning, and he is just not up to it. It will be too hot later, so I think we will just have some one on one time. Maybe we will brave and make some muffins later. I say brave because I can only imagine the mess a 15-month-old will help make. Lol

I am enjoying infusing this little guy with incredible amounts of love. I love my time with him so much.

I am proud of myself for waking up this morning and going on a brisk walk. I am doing this training program for a 5k and today was a walking today. It was a beautiful morning, and I was able to walk earlier than normal because the full moon was so bright. I enjoyed every minute of it. Later I am going to do some sit-ups, arms, and legs.

Right now though I am going to listen to my daily mp3 of John Assaraf’s Winning the Game of Fear. Well, I only listened to a couple of minutes before he woke up but that’s ok we had some fun playing and then I got the rest of my workout done. I had a little help. He decided to sit on my stomach when I was doing sit-ups, and he thought it was super funny when I did bridge sit-ups and kept raising him in the air. I will have to move my weights soon. I have them in a corner in the living room and when I started using my 8 lb. weights he decided to use one of my 5 lbs. weights and the little bugger lifted it up. We saved his toes thank goodness. Lol

I am experiencing a heightened sense of awareness in more of my daily life. I am enjoying everything a little more but especially food. I have also noticed that when I enjoy every bite that I am eating less. I am starting to recognize when I am satisfied, and I don’t feel the need to take extra bites til I feel stuffed. I tell myself if I want more in a while that I can have it and amazingly enough I have felt good and have not experienced the need to have more.

I did go over a bit in calories last night because we went out for pizza and pumpkin craft beer. But I ate less pizza than I normally do and that feeling was just as good as the pizza itself was. Even better is I had no guilt for what I was eating. We go for pizza maybe once every month or two at it is nice to be able to splurge and not feel guilty about it.

It has taken me a year, but I am feeling like I am making huge strides towards truly loving me for who I am – the good and the not so perfect.

MJ’s down for his afternoon nap and I was able to listen to John’s mp3 finally. In doing so, I had a realization that I keep looking at my failures, and that is all I see as a basis for moving forward. I thought about all of the years I have been in sales and that I have exceeded my goals a lot. In fact, I have succeeded much more than I have failed. I mentally did a calculation of a percentage of how many times I have exceeded my goals, and that is at least 85% of the time. Since I am always so hard on myself, I tried to estimate high on the failures just so that I don’t get hung up on that number in the future. It could even be as high as a 90% success rate. Now as a sales person I would be a fool to consider an 85 percent success rate a failure. Seriously after everything I have learned and written even just earlier today. Do I expect to be perfect? Am I really a failure if I am not perfect?

Looking at it even deeper from an accrued annual basis my success rate would be 97% with only a 3% failure rate.  I think it is past time that I look at this from a different perspective.

I also realize that the months I had failed that I completely bought into the fear of what would happen if I did fail and that the only times I did fail were when I had bosses who focused on the negative. When I had bosses who concentrated on the positive and cheered me on I always succeeded and even excelled. This is a valuable lesson for me to understand. Just because they believe in the fear does not mean I have to take their fear as my own. I just have to figure out a way to tune them out and create an opportunity for me to work with cheerleaders and not fearleaders.

This is an important concept in all of life. We can accomplish and reach much higher levels when we are encouraged from a place of empowerment vs. a place of fear.

MJ and I are watching American Ninja episodes while we play firetruck, and one of the contestants said how grateful he was to have people believe in him as much as he believed in himself.

To me, this is a God wink that I need to remove people from my life that are fearleaders. Honestly, I am blessed, and I currently only have one fearleader in my life. Unfortunately, he is my current boss. I know that now that I have this awareness things will change. Someway somehow I have faith that he will no longer be my fearleader.

Just because I have taken what seems like a long time in creating this error of thinking doesn’t mean I need to continue to let it define me.

I am working on editing these journals so that they can be posted on the website and I happened to get sidetracked on Facebook. As part of John’s Winning the Game of Fear Program we have access for 6 months to a private Facebook group for private coaching. He just posted a live video where he talks about how the emotion of fear is 1000 times stronger than a positive feeling.  This is for survival purposes. We have to remember negative experiences so that we survive. This explains why I have been stuck in this fear loop even though it is only 3% of my history in sales it is 3000% strong versus my successes at about 970% if my math is correct. So right now it is 3 times as strong, and this is why my inner mind gravitates toward fearful thinking. My internal environment has been clogged with fear weeds.

John explained that we could rehearse different scenarios by rehearsing in our mind what we are committed to.  When we are developing new patterns, there is going to be resistance within us and outside of us. Planning for how we will overcome this resistance is necessary for retraining our brain to create and reinforce a strong neural pattern that is teaching our brain to take a detour. This can take time for this detour to be the default way that we travel.

The repetition of overcoming my obstacles, the repetition of my affirmations will help me overcome these fears forever.

 

CLICK HERE to see previous journal entries

**************************************************

 

Self-Love Takeaways

• I need to be willing to change my perception and release my extra weight rather than lose it.
• I am an emotional eater – I over eat and/or make poor food choices when I am not feeling my best. When I am bored, depressed, frustrated, anxious or feeling rejection.
• Stop eating when I feel satisfied not when I feel full
• I need to remove the fearleaders out of my life and surround myself with more cheerleaders.